Musings on Culture

This week, American Idol started to be shown here. Of course we don't get to vote, but my son and I usually enjoy seeing the different singers and deciding who should win. This time, DH was in the room for the first day's auditions, and he had to put on earphones and block it out, it bothered him so much. There did seem to be an abundance of poor singers this year. His comment, aside from expression of astonishment that DS and I could stand to listen to it, was that something must be seriously wrong with the culture to have so many people totally unaware of just how bad they are.

Granted, a tv show will tend to choose the most dramatic examples to entertain people. But still, just how is it that people can end up so unable to see themselves clearly. Did no one ever say, "honey, we love you and appreciate your singing, but you are simply not that good." Where does truthfulness come in?

Here, people, especially friends and teachers, can be very blunt and even harsh about your faults and weaknesses. While it took a bit of getting used to, and I can't say I always like to hear it, I have also found it freeing. I don't need to pretend to be someone I am not. My friends and colleagues like me even though they see my faults, and tell me they do. It seems to me that the "I don't care what you say, I believe I am great" attitude is really just the flipside of "I am terrible, I have no good points at all, I am worthless". Both lack an ability to see reality and are mainly focused on self.

We all have the experience of being discouraged by someone, and we probably try not to discourage others. At the same time, though, when does encouragement and support become a nurturing of blindness and a kind of lying to oneself and others? How do you avoid discouraging people, but at the same time, help them to see reality in a way that they can develop their potential?